All of us need to find time to be with oneself and God. But we realize how difficult it is to discipline yourself. Every day we work hard and make efforts to fulfil our duties. Consequently, we begin to lose the quiet time which is needed.
It happened to me this February. I had a very busy schedule and traveled a lot from Batu to Surabaya. The traffic jam has an impact on my soul. I lost sense of humor and interest for community meetings. Moreover, the creativity disappeared because of much work. Prayers sometimes became dry and monotonous. The relationships were weakened. For I thought that by working hard my life and service would be better and more effective.
Working hard is not a mistake. But I need to find the real motivation for my service. I often forgot about myself at work. As if I could love God and others through my actions. I forget to involve God and ask myself: "What does He want?". I also don't appreciate time with people in my community and family. As a result, I neither listen carefully nor recognize needs of them.
I have recently realized that in this way “the effectiveness of service will gradually decrease". However, I want to hear God's invitation and to serve more effectively. I don’t want to rely only on myself but God. I need to come back to the source of life - God himself. I try to be faithful to his Word and ask in prayer "What does God want me to do?".
Through such activities as gardening, visiting the sick, taking an afternoon walk, exercising, drinking coffee together, playing cards and cooking cakes in the community kitchen my mind and heart are being refreshed. May God's love which is creative, dynamic, gentle and warm touch my life.
Sr. Sisilia Andri, SSpS
Prayers of SVD
May the darkness of sin
and the night of unbelief vanish before the light of the Word
and the Spirit of grace
and may the Heart of Jesus live
in the hearts of all people.
(Saint Arnold Janssen)